5 reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to German Food

Now before I give you the top 5 reasons (I know, I know you're all dying to know), let me explain what inspired the list. 

The first stop during my Restaurant Week tour here in Madison, WI was at Freiburg Gastropub on Monroe Street for lunch.  It was cold AF outside ( I totes thought my face was going to fall off), but the walk from my parking spot was worth it.  There aren't any parking garages around that I know of, but there's plenty of street parking and dedicated free (yes free) parking one block west on Monroe for the gastropub.  There's a sign.  You won't miss it.

The place was packed for lunch!  

A good sign.

We were greeted immediately by a hostess and were assured that we would be seated in a few minutes. We got a great seat right by the front window (the place was well heated) on pub height chairs and tables overlooking the dining area.  I had a line of sight to the kitchen and a portion of their amazing bar.  

Yup, I liked where they seated me.

Fine masonry surrounding the Freiburg logo illuminated by custom beer taps from Italy.                                              Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

The decor is exactly what you expect to find in a German Gastropub, but zhuhshed up to feel contemporary and hip without being a cliché .  I just loved looking at all that delicious chocolate-toned wood, and that ceiling!  Oh that ceiling!

Tin ceiling & rustic style fixtures at Freiburg Gastropub                                                                                                                    Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

The staff?  They're super friendly, and approachable.  Always a plus.  

I met the Front of House Manager, Ashleigh Wilson (who also served our food), and the General Manager, Lyle Hilfiker, and they were incredibly accommodating and hospitable.  I mean, there I was, eating their food and taking pictures of their bar in between bites... and they didn't throw me out!  (Thanks Ashleigh and Lyle!)

LT to RT: Lyle Hilfiker (General Manager), Ashleigh Wilson (Front of House & Beverage Manager)                                     Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

And of course, the food... want to see it?  Come take a look!

Brat Stickers (Crispy fried pasta stuffed with brat, cabbage, & onion; served with house mustard)                              Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

Here's an even closer look:

Damn!  Those Brat Stickers were dabombdotcom!  I highly recommend you order a serving of these.  They were listed as an appetizer, but wow!  Those things filled me up. Just remember... You will be full!  I barely had room for the entree, but I went for it.

Here is the Schnitzelwich in all of it's glory:


So I ate half.  I went for it, but fell short and had to box the rest.  There was still dessert left after all right?

Ashleigh Wilson serving up some Lebkuchen.                                                                                                                                              Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

Oh Ashleigh.  That Lebkuchen nearly did me in.  

I took about three bites of it and I was done.  

Was it good?  Hell yes!  And, I get to take the rest back with me for a late night snack! (Bonus!)

Here it is in motion:

And let's not forget about that gorgeous bar!  

All those custom-made beer taps!  

All that shiny chrome!

All that German Beer!


The largest German beer selection on tap in Madison, WI                                                                                                                     Photo by Epicurean Chronicles

And finally...

...On to the list.  (Yay!!!!)

5 reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to German Food

Especially if it's from Freiburg Gastropub.  Obvi.

5.)  You can talk dirty.

"Oh baby, this Sauerbraten tastes soooo good!"  Imagine hearing (or saying) that during the act.  Weird.

4.) You can blame it on the alcohol.

Beer! Beer! Beer!  It's a good pairing with anything on the menu, so don't forget it.  If anyone ever asks why you're drinking a Schneider Hopfen-Weisse with your Huhn, tell them to look around. You're in a German gastropub for Jürgen's sake!  Freiburg has the largest German beer selection on tap in Madison... and it's up there for the entire state of Wisconsin. Ask Ashleigh, their Beverage Manager, for some recs on pairings. Prost!

3.) Multiple partners are encouraged.

A little food threesome can be exciting! Bookend your Schnitzelwich with an appetizer like the Brat Stickers and their Lebkuchen for dessert.  If you want to add more, go for it!  The more the merrier!  No judgements.

2.)  It's okay if you're a virgin.

You could still be a first-timer and 'pop Ihren kirsche' (Google translate time!) by eating a traditional Wienerschnitzel, a breaded pork cutlet with sweet and sour red cabbage and Himmel und Erde potatoes.  You won't forget your first time.  Om nom nom nom nom.

1.)  No babies.

You just won't be able to get German food pregnant.  Ever!  I dare you to try!  I'd love to hear any success stories.  You may end up with a food baby though, but only for a couple of hours, and not for 18 years.  You won't need to get all "GEICO with your money" like Yeezy.

So get over to Freiburg Gastropub and get yourself a foodgasm SCHNELL!!!

Tell them Epicurean Chronicles sent you.

You deserve it.

        By Chris Attaway

        By Chris Attaway